Avoiding Burnout: Stress, Work, & Deep Rest

John Blue
10 hours ago
25 min read

More and more people are experiencing burnout. I want to share some of the wisdom of Chinese medicine and Daoist philosophy about living more balanced and sustainably.

Watch the lesson: https://youtu.be/DsEEyPC4Nog

Some time ago, I experienced a complete flaming burnout—as in, burned to the ground. And I'm willing to bet that you'll know exactly the feelings that I'm describing.

I was still in graduate school studying medicine, managing an overcomplicated constellation of long-term relationships, and processing a lifetime of physical and emotional fatigue.

I'm sure everyone here knows that feeling. The deep sense of fatigue. The hollowness that comes when your energetic resources are exhausted until you're not even running on fuel in your tank. You're somehow running on a kind of inertia. Your brain works just enough to tie your shoes, but learning feels more and more impossible. You can't even remember why you are doing the things you once felt passionate or hopeful about. Your emotional fuse is super short, and you can't even muster the energy to try and do something about it. If I slept at all, it didn't make me feel any more rested. If anything, the bad dreams would leave me feeling worse. You get sick or feel unwell so often that it becomes the new normal. We can't even remember what it is like to be energized, rested, or motivated. We are just getting by, barely, and hoping nobody else notices.

I immersed myself in nature for the first time by camping in a forest. The experience, to put it mildly, was transformative. As I sat in quiet meditation at the base of an enormous and ancient tree, the peace of the forest soaked into my habitually numb body-mind, and the clenched fist I held around my heart finally relaxed. The grip on my life fueled by anxiety, caffeine, hopes for the future, and shame about my past let go, and I found myself crying. Not crying. That gives the impression of me standing in the forest with a single manly tear hesitantly released from the corner of my eye. No. Weeping. I had just had enough.

I cried so hard and so long that I had to cancel my trip. The breakdown continued for days. As I returned home, I blew up my relationships in the most unskillful ways possible as I struggled to find a different way to live. The echoes of that forest were still spreading within my life, forcing me to stop the momentum of my chaotic life, and I am incredibly grateful. How I constructed my life was haphazard and destined for a bad end.

For example, I had never created space in my life for rest. I only ever added "more" to solve my problems. Sound familiar? We want to improve and feel better, so we add something new. A new hobby, a new person, a new look, a new job, a new substance. We end up chasing our tails until we are exhausted. But do we stop and wonder why? Not usually, because we are already too tired to figure anything out, and it takes energy to change.

One of the great gifts of illness and burnout—yes, I said "Gift"—is that it forces us to slow down and stop. Clearly, something isn't working, and this is our chance to reevaluate and ask for help. Of course, it is even better to notice the early warning signs of burnout before they get too bad and to make changes while you are still healthy enough to do them easily. And that's what I'm hoping to help you with today.

Within Daoist philosophy, we explore the idea of the seasons of life. To be healthy, these various phases must be balanced. Things have beginnings and endings. There are times of expansion and times of contraction. Every inhalation needs an exhalation. We have midday and midnight. There are times of waking and times of rest. The problem comes when we only want one phase of life: learning without time to consolidate understanding, winning without allowing for loss, talking, and never listening.

Poetically, we arrange this into a list of five phases or five elements to describe this transformation process: water, Wood, Fire, Earth, and Metal. Let's use these images to talk about healing and preventing burnout.

Water represents stillness. Midnight. Deep winter. That is when one thing has been allowed to be finished, and we haven't yet started a new project. Think about it. When was the last time you allowed yourself to be and to do nothing at all? Simply to be at rest in stillness and silence?

Of all the phases we will explore, this is the most commonly abandoned quality. In part, because culturally, we are made to feel ashamed or embarrassed about the need for deep rest. Partially because we never learned how to stop. Like me, we take a vacation and go out to do even more stuff instead of becoming still and quiet. We should try to entertain ourselves and fill that restless agitation with more "doing." But sometimes (often), we must slow…down…and…stop.

Try this practice with me. We'll do a moment of quiet sitting and guided visualization about possibilities. Sit comfortably at the edge of a chair that lets you sit up straight to relax without slumping. Sitting in a relaxed way is a skill that meditators figured out millennia ago, and I recommend taking some time to learn it later. It makes everything in life easier. For now, though, just become comfortable and close your eyes.

Exhale through the mouth and inhale through the nose. Relax your whole body as you exhale, and deepen your feeling of peace as you inhale.

Soften your Face

Loosen your Neck

Relax your Shoulders

Sink your elbows

Release your hands

Notice the deep stillness and softness beneath your tension, and allow it to blossom.

Settle your chest and upper back

Soften your belly and lower back

Let go of your legs and feet

Do this practice for a few minutes, a few times daily. Let go and become as soft and as still as you can.

While you continue to relax, imagine that you can magically take a year off from your life. Maybe you come to our little monastery and stay in a little cabin. No responsibilities or needs for one year except for yourself. Each night, you sleep well, napping occasionally during the day until you feel rested. You spend a part of each day walking around the forest, breathing and moving enough to feel well-circulated, limber, and gently exercised. You lightly eat healthy food and practice quieting your mind and heart as you relax by a pond under a tree. You do this each day for the whole year, completely carefree. Get a sense of this in your body and mind. How does it feel? You have a memory of this possibility somewhere in your system. Fully rested so that your body feels light and open, your mind is sparkly and clear, and your emotions are calm and contented. Refreshed and recharged at a bone-deep level. As you imagine this, where do you feel the biggest differences in your body? How would it be to feel so peaceful and bright again?

What you are experiencing is the ghost of the results of the Water element fully realized. You pause and rest until your body and mind are ready to start something new. Instinctively, we have an idea of what that's like. A full recharge would make everything we do afterward more effective, efficient, and inspired. You'd be able to be the best version of yourself. I wish more companies would research the benefits of a healthy and well-rested workforce. The benefits of having a team always at the top of its game cannot be overstated!

Resting deeply and well is a skill; we must make space for it within our schedules, homes, and workplaces. If you go to the gym, it's not during lifting weights that you get stronger; it's later, when you are resting and replenishing, that your body heals and grows. When you study something new, it's not until later, when your mind is quiet and resting, that your brain and nervous system consolidate that new information. When do we get new ideas and inspiration? When we can let go of old ideas and make space for something new. We need that moment of downtime to experience a big "Aha!" Planning for success must include the empty space. The quiet moment. The deep rest that makes it possible to build our future.

So, your homework for this section is to closely examine your rest and downtime cycles. They are crucial for your health and performance. What can you do TODAY to make an immediate difference in that part of your life?

Also, the next time you are about to start a new project at work, take a moment to stop. Be still, even for only 30 seconds. My teacher, Master Zhicheng, always tells me, "What's the first thing you do?"…" You don't!" The first thing we do is to STOP doing whatever we were doing before. That way, you can always begin each task feeling fresh, clear, and free.

WOOD

Exhaustion and a lack of rest are significant symptoms of burnout, and so is frustration. A feeling that we are always on edge emotionally, with a short fuse. Impatient, yet unable to plan or take the next step. We may even feel trapped and powerless in our own lives. These symptoms fall within an imbalance of the "Wood element." This phase of life includes the sunrise and the springtime when we wake up after a long rest and want to stretch. Or when the seed waiting through the winter in my garden suddenly bursts open with a lively sprout. "Wood" energy needs to expand and be free, express, create, and let go.

We feel repressed and irritable when we cannot act freely and express ourselves honestly. When was the last time you felt this way? For most of us, it insinuates our private lives and becomes a serious problem within our relationships. You may be constantly grumpy or even burst into anger. Does any of this sound familiar?

Sometimes, people come to my clinic and say they have heard about powerful practices like meditation and Taiji. But when they sit down to meditate, they are overcome with strong emotions and agitation. They try to hold on tighter to their practice, but it doesn't work. They only feel worse afterward. So, this meditation thing must be a lie.

Did you hear the problem? They are holding on instead of letting go, squeezing themselves instead of loosening up. They also engage in the wrong practice when they feel pent up.

Usually, I lead them outside, and we go for a walk. Not a walk. A stroll. A ramble. In Chinese, we call it San Bu, scattered steps. We are not going for a walk as though we are trying to raise our heart rates or get anywhere. The goal is to feel that there is no purpose other than simply enjoying the stroll, setting them free from expectations. They find themselves outside in the fresh air, breathing, swinging their arms and legs, and looking around at the trees. And because they have stopped trying to control everything, they begin to heal. They begin to unwind. To uncoil. Unknot. And this is the direction of healthy wood expression.

So, if you can, wherever you are, get up for a moment. Move into a comfortable upright standing posture. It's okay to do this seated. I'll stay sitting for the sake of the camera.

Learning to sit correctly and stand like a taiji or qigong practitioner is fantastically useful. If you spend too much time on your feet, please seek help from an expert.

Take a moment to unlock your joints and put your hips beneath your shoulders. It's like you are about to sit backward on a tall chair. Let's use the same breath pattern we explored: exhaling tension and stress and inhaling peace and comfort.

Soften your face, neck, and shoulders. Allow your arms to hang by your sides without slouching forward or backward.

If you use your hands a lot, take an extra moment to release them.

Let go of your chest and upper back.

Soften your ribs and belly, and allow the breath to be free.

Your lower back releases your glutes, hips, and thighs.

Soften around your knees and lower legs, and even let go of your feet.

All your body's weight falls through your legs and onto the ground.

This standing practice, by itself, is a foundational method for deep practice.

But today, let's swing our arms forward and backward if it's comfortable for you.

We aren't trying to do anything right or worried about getting it wrong. We are gently swinging our arms. Notice if your thoughts turn toward being judged or trying to make yourself feel a certain way. If these thoughts are habitual, you must practice letting them go daily. You don't need them. Settle into the stillness of the present moment. Be here and now without getting caught up in your ideas about tomorrow. Wood energy is all about taking action, but it has to be a movement free from the constraints of worry, stress, and frustration. So, to live in a way that doesn't lead to the dead end of burnout, we must constantly be making choices that respond to current circumstances, not reacting to old ideas.

These days, I spend a good percentage of my time studying and translating old Chinese texts. Within the classic text called the DaoDeJing, there is a commonly mistranslated line. It's usually shown as "A long journey begins with the first step." But that's not the actual translation. It's closer to saying, "A long journey begins under your feet." That's a huge difference! We begin where we are. We start by becoming present and engaging with the moment without jumping thoughtlessly into the next task. What's the first thing we do? We don't. We become settled and clear, and then we take the first step. That kind of action leads to a far different outcome and allows us to choose a path that is authentic to our lives! Expressions of our freedom.

Sit down whenever you feel ready, but taking time is part of the practice.

Other ways to begin releasing this Wood quality include exploring alternative methods of expression. Creativity can be a lifesaver. Music, dancing, painting, gaming, woodworking, and a zillion other options are available to explore your artistic side.

Generosity is another way to release this habit of holding on tightly and controlling. Try donating to your favorite charity or creator, or get out into the community to perpetuate random acts of kindness. Keeping them anonymous makes keeping your ego out of the equation easier.

Where can you inject some of your personality, creativity, and kindness at work? Many businesses have somehow overlooked adding humanity to the human side of their business. This is one way to alleviate frustration and bring a spark of joy back into the workplace!

Your homework is to spend a few minutes strolling with scattered steps daily. It's a practice for when you're too upset to sit still, too full to concentrate, or too bottled up to breathe deeply. "You don't walk to arrive. You walk to release." "Let your thoughts scatter. Let your plans dissolve. Let each step be a falling leaf."

Letting go is a skill that you can practice and that will transform your life. Remember to use that strong wood energy to plan around protecting this free time. You deserve it!

FIRE

"If Water is stillness, and Wood is growth,

then Fire is what happens when the energy rises to the heart."

Fire is the noon summer sun.

The moment of full bloom.

The laugh and sparkle that catches everyone in a room.

The joy of connecting — to people, purpose, and the spirit."

"But Fire is also where burnout gets its name."

The phase of life that we call "Fire" is often what we look forward to each day at work: the big win during a competition, the moment of triumph when you get the gold star from your boss, that time you are eating your favorite food, laughing at the punchline of a joke, and feeling like you are at your best.

These moments are fun and worth enjoying.

However, the problem comes when we always try to stay there. When that fire burns bright for too long, it stops feeling like joy and becomes more like agitation. Restlessness. If the water element we discussed represents the bottom of exhalation, this represents the top of inhalation. And what would it feel like to only inhale all of the time? How would the environment survive if it were always high noon? Everything becomes brittle and starts to burn up, and that's exactly how we feel when we try to force this high point all of the time.

For years, I was a professional musician. Numerous musical pieces emphasize these extended moments of bright, unending sound. This tends to lend a kind of manic restlessness to music that people intuitively understand is imbalanced. It's also particularly exhausting to play music like this because there are no breaks in the sound. In an orchestra, we need to pencil in moments to breathe on the sheet music to avoid running out of air and energy.

As I keep mentioning, we usually forget to create that space for ourselves if we don't plan for our downtime. We try to live in this high-energy up-time, and that bright fire burns us. It isn't easy, at first, to make space in our lives for productive non-productivity. Yet, the trick is finding the right motivation. It's self-defeating to try and motivate yourself based on anxiety about your health or the desire for self-improvement. If those motivations worked, we'd all be taking care of ourselves already.

Have you noticed that in your own life? If you could turn worry into personal growth, you would already have achieved your goals. I know my own ambient level of anxiety could have powered New York City! But that doesn't help us heal. It just makes us feel worse.

Instead, healing must come from self-respect. Cultivating self-care becomes easy when one develops a quiet and abiding sense of respect for one's own personhood.

Let's try another simple and powerful practice. If you like, you can stay seated in a dignified upright posture.

Think about yourself. You as a human. Not ideas about yourself, but you. Try cultivating some feelings of appreciation for yourself. You are doing your very best in this moment, which is worth respect. Cultivate a sense of soft-hearted compassion for your difficult emotions—a kind of unconditional friendliness. Like anything worth doing, this can take practice, so be patient and kind with this process. Whatever you've gone through, whoever you are or have been, you deserve respect. It is possible to practice developing self-respect a little each day. Let go of those thoughts and feelings that obstruct that respect.

Repeat these words either out loud or just in your head.

1. For Yourself

May I be safe.

May I be well.

May I be respected.

May I feel loved.

Pause. Breathe.

2. For Someone You Care About

Picture someone who brings you ease — a friend, loved one, teacher, or even a pet. Someone who it is super easy to feel love and respect toward. Repeat this:

May you be safe.

May you be well.

May you be respected.

May you feel loved.

Pause. Let the feeling land.

3. For Someone Neutral

Think of someone you don't know well — maybe a coworker, a neighbor, or someone you passed today.

May you be safe.

May you be well.

May you be respected.

May you feel loved.

Pause. Let the warmth grow outward.

4. For Someone Difficult

Only if you're ready — bring to mind someone you struggle with. You don't have to agree with them. Just offer this as a way to free your own heart.

May you be safe.

May you be well.

May you be respected.

May you feel loved.

(This may be hard. It's okay. You can soften and come back to yourself anytime.)

5. For All Beings

Imagine this feeling of kindness radiating outward —

to your friends, your community, the land, the sky, all beings everywhere.

May all beings be safe.

May all beings be well.

May all beings be respected.

May all beings feel loved.

(Sit for a moment in the quiet. Let the energy settle.)

Take a final deep breath…

And when you're ready, gently open your eyes.

How does that feel?

Understanding fire means understanding how to burn brightly without burning out.

Daoist wisdom teaches the importance of understanding when enough is enough, to know when to exhale, to know when you've had enough to eat, drink, or take a breath. If you recognize this as a problem in yourself, please don't overlook its danger. It's a matter of self-respect to stop treating yourself like an object that is pushed until it's used up.

Ask yourself, "Where would you like to rebuild respect — in yourself or your relationships?"

When you can answer that clearly, then include it in a daily meditation. Over time, you'll find it in yourself, and you'll also be able to extend that respect and compassion to the rest of the world around you. The Fire element is healing within our community when cultivated as a source of light and loving respect. Practice a little each day, heal, and be that change in your world.

EARTH

"If fire is the full bloom of summer, Earth is the moment of the changing season. The time of transformation, in the middle between one phase and the next. The moment we sit down to eat and digest what life has given us.

(Earth digestion image)

"Earth is about digestion and absorption — not just of food, but of life.

It's how we process what happens. How we make meaning and transform from what happens in our lives

"When Earth gets out of balance, we become ungrounded and disconnected. We worry.

We overthink.

We give and give and give — and forget to receive until we become exhausted and undernourished. And even when we do find something nourishing, whether food or a relationship, we don't allow ourselves to take those good things in and allow them to nourish our bodies and minds.

Maybe we finally reach a goal, but instead of relaxing and appreciating the success, we immediately reset our expectations. We may finally find a loving relationship, but we don't take the time to enjoy it or allow it to grow in healthy directions.

And then?

We get resentful, numb, or only lost in a tired, spinning mind..

Not because we don't want to care — but because we're out of fuel."

(earth fatigue image)

Any of this sounding familiar? Some of these feelings are at the root of burnout.

Learning to rest, to relax, and even to pause to enjoy our achievements actually takes practice. It's not something that our imbalanced work-life culture tends to prize.

When I was young, I worked as a server at a restaurant. It is a challenging job, and I greatly respect those who do it well. As a neurodivergent introvert, it was super educational and transformative. At first, I was constantly in a state of stress and overwhelmed. My managers were very supportive and offered great suggestions for improvement. After about a year, I found my rhythm and enjoyed the work. Serving fast and efficiently became a game, and I spent most of each shift smiling. The funny thing was that the head manager called me into her office to reprimand me for not slacking off. She had been watching me move around in a relaxed way, and felt that being calm and happy were the same thing as being lazy. That stress and tension were the same thing as hard work. I had to show her that I was the top-rated waiter for that month before she believed me. And yet, for the rest of the time there, she always treated me with suspicion, as though I was trying to get away with something.

Can you see the problem there? The work culture that she maintained created stress and fatigue. Nobody was happy working there because success led to a kind of self-destruction. Over the years, I've noticed that for most people, this is how their lives are structured. If we feel peaceful and well-rested, we must be doing something wrong.

I want to challenge this perspective, especially if you unconsciously hold it. I want to share the possibility that true circle success encompasses your entire life. Your mental-emotional wellness, relationships, and physical vitality should not be sacrificed on your life journey.

If you'd like, sit up correctly again if you've started to slouch.

Let's do a very simple form of mindfulness practice, but with an important skill to develop.

It will be helpful to close your eyes for the moment. Notice the present moment. Your breath, the sensations in your body, the sounds around you. Anything that is actually happening in this moment, outside of your thoughts and conceptions about the experience. Very simple, right?

Well, you'll already notice how difficult it is to sit quietly and pay attention to what's going on without being lost in imagination and other thoughts or fantasies or falling asleep.

More important than being able to stay mindful of the present moment is practicing coming back to the present moment. Pay attention to that process for a few breaths.

Now, even more critical than simply returning to the mindful present moment is how you return—the way you deal with distraction and running away from reality.

Do you push away the distraction? Get upset with yourself for being unable to focus?

Do you try to hold onto the present moment of focus, with a white knuckle grip on reality?

These habits of pushing away what we don't want and clinging to what we do want are destructive to our ability to remain peaceful. In the long run, they actually make it harder for us to be present and mindful, to concentrate on our work and passions, and to enjoy our lives.

The correct method is subtle but incredibly powerful for getting the most from every moment of our lives. When you notice that you are drifting away from reality and the present moment, don't push away the distraction or "try hard" to be awake. Instead, notice the distraction and simply lose interest. The distraction is just an agitation of your mind and emotions, so adding to that agitation with tension only makes it more likely for your mind to wander again! It ends up being a vicious cycle, unless we learn to relax the mind and let go of the distractions effortlessly. If you simply soften your mind a bit, and pay attention to what's happening, that is enough to return you to the present moment because that's all that is ever actually happening, anyway.

The quality of Earth is one of processing and transformation. By learning to settle and stop endlessly chewing on your thoughts and feelings, it becomes much easier to move forward and process stuck emotions. You'll also feel much more energized, because you won't spend a lot of your daily energy resources simply reworking the same problems repeatedly. It's exhausting, right? You'll notice that even a short time practicing quiet mindfulness can be wonderfully refreshing to a tired mind.

You CAN learn to stop that endless loop, but it requires self-honesty and the ability to express yourself honestly to the people in your life, to express your concerns more clearly, and to ask for the help you require to get things accomplished. Sometimes, we simply need help pausing to rest or eating more nourishing foods for lunch. Often, there's no better way to break an old, destructive cycle than to let go of deflections and worries and to tell the truth.

This is your Earth homework. To honestly acknowledge to yourself what you need, and then to share that truth with someone in your life who can help. Take a moment to appreciate the small accomplishments and beautiful aspects of your world. Be here, now. And now. These are life-changing habits, so prepare yourself for the transformations that will come!

METAL

The last elemental movement in this cycle is called metal.

"If Earth is about settling, processing, digesting, and absorbing the nourishment,

Then metal is about letting go.

Earth asks us to receive, and then metal asks us to release. The imbalances become apparent when we refuse to let that process unfold.

(metal represents image)

Think of Metal is the crisp breath of autumn just before winter returns.

The falling leaves.

The moment when the trees stop clinging — and trust the letting go."

We practiced letting go of the Earth element to be where we are. Here, we let go of the things that don't serve us. This is an aspect of refinement, which is how we obtain pure metals in the first place—removing impurities, creating a powerful structure, and eliminating excess.

Metal is all about precision, doing things just the right amount, preparation, cleanup, and everything being in its proper place. It's essential for certain aspects of our work and home life, and you can see why a business is particularly interested in this quality of being healthy.

Out of balance can manifest as rigidity, perfectionism, emotional coldness, emptiness, or feelings of loss or grief.

Instantly, we can think of people who fit both archetypes, and you can find them in yourself. After all, these feelings are often a significant part of the burnout experience.

Ask yourself, what can you let go of that will bring immediate benefits? Start small, and practice letting it go, even if it's simply emptying your trash can or cleaning out a bag. It's all good practice.

Suppose you find it difficult to let go of things, and your environment is becoming cluttered. In that case, you may also struggle to declutter your mind. After all, how we do anything is how we tend to do everything.

Sometimes, this clutter appears due to careless neglect. We stop caring and become distant in our own lives. It can become important to explore your values about life. What do you deeply care about? How can you reconnect the heart of your deepest drives to your work and home life?

This drive may help you draw more precise lines around parts of your life: I need this, I don't need that, I want this, I don't want that. This is good for me, but this isn't. This helps me achieve success, but this is destructive. When you can more clearly see those boundaries and your deepest values empower them, it becomes much easier to let go of the parts that help you grow.

When we don't have those firm boundaries in our lives, they don't only become messy. They may become toxic. When we lose our ability to say "no" when we need to, then we start to become negative, self-destructive, and cynical. We lose our sense of agency in life. We end up sacrificing the good because we cannot separate the bad. They quickly spoil if I toss one moldy apple into a barrel of good apples. The better we are at discarding the harmful parts of our lives, the easier it becomes to heal and grow.

Some of the people in my life work from home, and I've seen how it can be destructive for them if they don't have clear boundaries between work and home time. They end up working all of the time, or they end up never working at all. We must be able to put down our work at the end of the day to rest deeply and recover. That also makes us more capable of being clear and alert at work. Remember to align your schedule with your deeper values so that you don't inadvertently sacrifice what matters most to you—knowing that taking the time to nourish yourself will keep you at the top of your game in every aspect of your life.

"There's an old story:

Two woodcutters entered a contest to see who could chop down the most trees in a day.

One worked nonstop — never resting, swinging furiously.

The other kept taking breaks.

Sharpening his axe.

Breathing.

Pausing to adjust his stance.

Who do you think won?

The one who paused. Who always brought their most refined efforts.

Who honored the rhythm of effort and stillness.

He didn't waste energy swinging a dull blade."

"In a world that rewards excess, Metal teaches the elegance of "just enough." Of knowing when the job is done and then stopping. Doing the work right and then going home, letting it all go.

Not everything needs to be done right now.

Not every thought needs to be followed.

Not every burden needs to be carried."

"Sometimes healing doesn't come from doing more.

It comes from doing less — and doing it well."

Illness appears when we can't draw those healthy boundaries in our lives. How can we make good choices if we can't know what is helping and what is harming? The more defined and refined our lives become, the simpler and easier they are to manage. Lists and agendas can be invaluable; just be careful

That you don't turn into someone who has lists about their lists and schedules for their lists.

If you'd like, go ahead and sit up correctly again if you've started to slouch. You can stand up and practice if that's more comfortable.

Rest your hands on your belly. Use the softness of your hands to help relax your abdomen. Our culture often encourages us to clench our bellies and hold our breath, especially during times of stress. This can be a significant trigger for further anxiety, feelings of frustration, and poor posture. The relief from just a few comfortable, easy, slow breaths shows what a huge difference they can make.

How does it feel? The trick here isn't to force deep breaths. In the same way that you can't force your belly or your shoulders to relax, you can only let go of the tension in the way. Similarly, with the breath, just let go of the tension that is blocking your breath from expanding and releasing comfortably. How soft and easy can you make this process?

When stressed, we often hold onto collections of small thoughts and feelings. A hundred minor concerns stack up to feel like a wall of stress. I'm sure you know this feeling when small things start to feel like big problems, only because it feels as though there are a thousand small things to deal with. They keep us up worrying, even late into the night, ruining our chances for a good night's sleep.

One way to help with this tendency is to practice letting go of small things repeatedly. This skill can be developed using simple methods. Let's work on it together momentarily, using only your breath.

Notice the tendency to try to control your breathing patterns. Relax your mind each time you start to force your breathing into a particular pattern. It's as though your mind becomes a clenched fist, even around something as simple as inhaling and exhaling. Isn't that amazing? We try to control everything. Instead, relax.

At the same time, notice if your mind drifts to something small but irritating. Maybe the sound of traffic or a fan, or a tiny itching sensation on your nose. Your only job is to notice the feeling of resistance and annoyance about the experience, and let it go.

Release the need to change it or the feeling that it shouldn't be there. Soften your mind the same way that you relax your hands and your belly. You can always do something about them later. For now, relax and be present.

Keep letting go, repeatedly, using very small things to strengthen your ability to let go of bigger problems. The better you can become at this skill of mindfully relaxing, the smaller your stack of worries will be at the end of the day, and the easier it will be to fall asleep without a spinning mind. It's pretty powerful!

Your Metal homework is to release many small tensions throughout the day. Start as small as possible to develop that habit. Then, as you improve, practice letting go of inconsequential things that bother you, so you can strengthen your ability to let go of bigger problems later. It's like lifting small weights to strengthen yourself before tackling the heavier weights in your life. Eventually, you'll find that it becomes effortless to make space in your life for new, good things by releasing the stuff that no longer helps you grow.

Today we covered the basics of the 5 phases of life, Water, Wood, Fire, Earth, and Metal.

You have specific, actionable practices to take home and important questions to ponder.

These practical methods have been helping heal people for thousands of years, and I know they will be just as supportive for you.

Again, my name is John Blue, and I'd be happy to have you contact me online with your questions. We all grow and heal together as a community, and together we will help the world become a better and more balanced place. Thank you, and enjoy your practice!